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The Calling to be Your Unique Self
Listen to this talk:
Rev. Lee Wolak - The Calling to be Your Unique Self (31 min.)
Transcript of a talk delivered by Rev. Lee Wolak
December 15, 2013 - Dallas, Texas

Good evening. I love coming here because I get to do a different type of talk than I normally do because I'm normally on stage and I'm with a big energy and I'm really out there. Lori can testify what I was like earlier today. I was very animated.

What I'm called to talk about today is the idea of Jodi being here and the way she has the vibration of her beautiful bowls. And there's such a symbolism in that in that each of us is a vibration. And our vibrations are very different. There are no two people on the planet that have the same vibration. So when you really start breaking that down, it's a fascinating thing because collectively the vibration of everyone makes that perfect sound. And what's that sound that we talk about all the time, isn't it the om sound.

And the om sound is really the collective consciousness of all the vibrations that have ever been. All the seven and a half billion people plus all of the animals plus all of the plants plus everything in this cosmos is vibrating at a vibration that comes together and builds this om.

So in the idea of the divine, everything must be unique in order for it to express and to experience in this it's perfect way. And that's how the om is built. So when we hear that om sound, what does that take us to. It takes us to a state of oneness. That's a state that's calling from within each of us to desire and to experience and to express. Whenever we have a discontent, a longing, a desire, it's that allness calling us forth to be the uniqueness that we are. And living in the United States, my experience has been, that I've been taught not to be unique. From the moment I came out, my mother and father said, ‘Lee, be this way. Lee, do this. Lee, that's a good boy. Lee, that's a bad boy.' I was mostly bad.

But what it really boils down to is this idea that you were not meant to be like anyone else. You were meant to be unique. And so when you look at everything around us, we're being bombarded all the time by ideas, ‘This is the perfect garment. This is the perfect temple. That is the perfect temple. They've all got ideas of how they want you to fit in.

You know and they hire people that people idolize and look to like remember when Michael Jackson was at his highest, what did Pepsi do? They got Michael to talk about how good it feels to drink Pepsi. And so what did they want us to do, they wanted us to identify feeling good with Pepsi. And all of the advertising that's out there, our school systems, our school systems take our children.

There's a great song by a singer who passed a while back, his name is Harry Chapin. And Harry Chapin did a song a while back called ‘Taxi, Cats in the Cradle" and some other songs. He was a ballad singer. He sang great songs with lots of beautiful lyrics behind it and he talked about a child once and how this child went to school. And the teacher said it was time to color. And so the child took all of the colors in the whole crayon box and just colored away. And the teacher came to him and said ‘No, we must color all of our plants with green and red.' And the child said, 'No, there's so many colors in the rainbow.' And the teacher said, ‘No all flowers stems are green and the flowers are red.' And there was a chorus he sang. And the child rebelled and so they put the student off into the corner and then he finally had to learn that in order to be a part he had to color green and red flowers. And then his parents moved as the song went on and he went to this new school with this different energy. And at this new school it became time to color again, and so he colored the flowers green and red; why, it was a habit. He was conditioned into this habit. And then a teacher looked at him and said, 'No, no, no' and she told him ‘you can use all the colors in the rainbow.' You see I believe that when we have that teacher that comes into our life that says we can use all the colors in the rainbow.

When we start to do that is when we approach this idea of enlightenment. I really want to say that enlightenment is not something that you're really ever going to attain for long periods of time, at least not in human body. Because in human body, my idea, my belief, and everything I study is we were meant to create. We are here to create out of our unique selves that which brings us a great joy and each one here has unique gifts that they choose to bring to this place, to this planet, to this life, to this cosmos, to this unification. And resonate with that vibration.

And when we can be in alignment with those, I call them values, that I have certain values that are very very paramount to me and that no one in the planet has those same values to me so when I'm living to those values, I feel in bliss. Time disappears, it falls away. And that from those values, we determine our unique purpose.

I think for example, knowing Jody her unique purpose is to bring a sense of peace and connection into the world through the sound of bowls. She's dedicated her life to that. As long as I've known her that's what you do is it not. So each of us has that gift. For me, mine is about I am a catalyst for personal transformation. Not only yours but mine. And remember it always starts with you. It never starts outside of yourself. This is the big fallacy that I think we've bought into is that it's all about helping others first; oh no, how can you help others first when you don't know who you are.

So let's explore that a little bit, so who are you? Well, I'll make it real simple we'll use some deductive reasoning. We all understand, no matter what faith we are, there is oneness. If there is oneness, that means that the oneness must be infinite. It's everywhere present, it's always present, it has always been, it always will be, it's all powerful. That oneness expresses and creates out of itself because it's the only thing it can create from. There's nothing other than, let's just call it God for purposes of this discussion, call it any word you want; it can't be defined by a word. Words are limiting in and of themselves. When I say, ‘Lee', I limit who I am. Isn't that interesting because there's beliefs around this idea that I've created about Lee and that determines my behavior if I say that. So this power and presence that we call God is everywhere present, it's always been, it's creating all the time. Anyone have a problem with that idea?

Sound pretty simple, something that we can sort of grasp, somewhat get our feeling around. So then if that's the case, that's the only leap of faith that ever has to be made. The only leap of faith ever, the next logical sequence of that is that means that each of us here is it, in expression. It has chosen, the it, the all has chosen to infinitely express itself through all things. So by that it has created body, Cornell, and Jody, and Lori, and everyone here as the unique expression of itself. So everything about us is God in expression. Everything about us is an energetic vibration. We are literally at all times tapped into infinite wisdom. We just forget. We so forget that we are tapped into infinite wisdom. So in this art that is so beautifully defined in the east in meditation, it is stilling this mind into a place of calmness where we can hear divine wisdom channeling through us.

So you know you hear all of these people that come around in their vessels or their channels, like Abraham is a big one, Seth was one for a while, Ramtha was another.

All that is happening there is in the stillness they've tapped into infinite wisdom and they allow the infinite wisdom to flow through them. It's not anything other than their recognition of their truth. I'm fascinated by that because they'll talk about well it's a group of beams that are coming and speaking through me. Well… ok fine that's ok if that's how you want to see it, I see it differently. I see it, it's my tapped into that is all that exits and it's all flowing through me.

I first got that idea when I was at Unity Village probably in the year 1998, I went there for a retreat. And I was there and I was a runner at that time. So I'd wake up at 5:30 in the morning and it's pitch dark and it was all of unity village, it's all wooded and in the back of this 1400 acres was a 9 hole golf course. And so it was all wooded but they had cart paths through the golf course. And so I would jog the cart paths. At this time I was in a lot of questioning about what was my purpose; am I on the right path, is this just nonsense. So I went jogging and as I'm jogging I'm talking out loud because that's what I do. I was brought up as a Catholic so when I have conversations with God, I'm talking to God, I'm saying ‘hey Bud what's going on'. Each of you have to find your own way that you talk to the divine. But that's what I did and I was having questions and questions.

Finally about hole number five I stopped talking and I mean this voice from within me came in and just started talking and answering everything I asked. For two holes all this stuff just poured through. And then I went back and I got back to the room and my wife said, ‘you look different what's going on', and I said ‘I've gotta go.' And I went to a peace chapel and I just journaled everything that happened, I wanted to make sure I recorded it all. That was my first exposure to listening to infinite wisdom. I've had many others and then about two and a half years ago I went to Vipasana down in Kaufman, Texas and I did a ten day silent meditation retreat. And I will tell you that is the hardest and most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. My body screamed in pain. Screamed in pain, because you're meditating five different times a day two hours at a pop.

And I don't know, I can't do what you do sitting there. These legs will not cross like that and I've put many an hour in trying. We realize, here's the interesting thing, meditation really has nothing to do with your posture. Meditation is your desire to go into stillness.

It doesn't matter how you sit or where you are. It's can you let your mind just be. And here's the interesting thing is we share this idea in meditation. Meditation is basically living in balance. You have your highs on one side, everyone get high, not get high but you have your joy and your laughter and your exuberance and all of that, that's on this side. And on the other side we have fear, despair, complaining, and all of that, right. We're human we have all those experiences, let's just accept that as such. If you realize that you're having all that all the time, where's it come back too, right to here. To peace.

Science is now proving that this idea of depression, this idea of bipolar is simply because we are living to an unrealistic expectation. And when we live to an unrealistic expectation, our body chemistry starts to change because it's the mind that controls the body. Cellular biologists are now finding out that your biology, your DNA is simply a tendency. Did you hear that last word? It is a tendency. What you think will determine which way that tendency moves. That's what science, is telling us now. That's not just spirituality talking or wishful people talking, that's scientists proving it. That is how you direct your thought determines the makeup of your biology, your cellular structure and how that structure comes together and function.

Giving you a good example of that; I'm a gym guy, I go to the gym five six times a week, I love the gym. My workouts have changed over my lifetime, I once got into body building and I was about 30 pounds heavier, I was pushing big weights, I ate a body builder protein program. The interesting thing is, you can't change your body until you changed your minds perception of your body. It doesn't matter what you do. It doesn't matter if you exercise more or you exercise different. It doesn't matter if you eat differently. I'm a vegan, I do that because it makes my body feel good. Anyone ever been to a vegan restaurant? Are there all sizes and shapes of people in veganville?

I'm mean we got the thin ones, the medium ones, we got the tall ones, we got the short ones, we got the big ones. There's no difference. If you go into a vegan restaurant, you're going to see the exact same thing that you would if you went into a non-vegan restaurant, why is that?

Because everyone has a different perception here. What I'm going to challenge you on is that most people have never taken the time to come up with their own perception for themselves. What is it that we want our bodies to be? There's not a right way. But the question I would ask is so, if you understand who you are, that you are God as an expression, that you have values, and these values determine a purpose, and I choose that not only am I a vessel for personal transformation but I choose to enjoy this physical body as much as I can for as long as I'm on this planet. And I have an intention of 124 plus years. And science is saying that the kids born today, science is saying they will live 150 years.

Science is progressing at such a rate so fast that that possibility is there. So I have a belief that the possibility exists for us, if that's what our desire is. So I've created an image and a likeness for my body but it doesn't stop there. This idea that we create in our mind is about the type of relationships we have, they type of experience we have, and our jobs, what type of jobs we do, the type of friendships that we share with the world, the type of money we have flowing in. Because what is money, it's just energy. I shared this morning the revelation that I had and I'm a very proud man, I don't like to admit that I make mistakes. And yet I realize I make them all the time. And making mistakes is a good thing. Just repeating them over and over is not so hot. But making mistakes tells you, are you moving in the direction of what you want or are you moving away from it. You see when we make a mistake we get an emotional response and that emotional response will trigger to us where are we gonna go, were do we want to go.

Well I am, I was very much against what I was seeing happening in the United States and the world. I was very much against what I saw happening with the brokerage houses, the financial institutions, Wall Street, the greed that was going on. And I had a real hard on about that. A real one and I was posting things on Facebook, I was reading the literature about it. I was going to be an advocate against that, right. At the same time I started getting into the political thing. And I'm saying we need total revolution in politics because it's impossible in my mind, you can't tell the democrats from the republicans anymore because they're all being fed by the same money.

Ok, do you see how my energy shifted when I started talking about that from before.

So I have a son that's living back home with me and he says, ‘Dad, you're violating everything you teach.' And I said, ‘no I'm not. I'm promoting the goodness of all.' He said, ‘No, you're forgetting the key ingredient, is that everything is a unique expression and you're forgetting that there is never a lack of abundance anywhere. It's only the mental perception that there's a lack of abundance.' And what I realized as I allowed that to process, I realized that my having these views of being against things was blocking my own flow of abundance into my life. When you're against something, you're having a block in your life. People I know have been in relationships and they haven't been good ones, and all of a sudden women will go, ‘I don't like men.' Or men will go, ‘oh the women.' And the second they do that, what are they doing, they are blocking their lives. They're not blocking relationships but what they're blocking is they're blocking the fact that every man and every woman has masculine and famine energy in them. It's called the intellect representing the masculine and it's called the heart representing the feminine.

And if you've got a thing about men you're blocking the intellectual, if you've got a thing about women you're blocking the heart part. And you see, where's oneness? It's the balance of the intellect, it's the balance of the heart. Do you see how we come back to this again?

Oneness is always about being in a state of balance. I've gotten very close, to a gentleman who's a leader of Kriya Yoga, Paramhansa Prajnananda. Kriya Yoga is the descendant of Paramhansa Yogananda. He's the one who really made it popular in the western world. And Baba and I, we talk about this all the time and we have very candid discussions, and I said, ‘I love what you do. I love the practice and the meditation, and you're missing the other part.' I said, ‘We weren't meant to sit here and just be in bliss.' Why would we come into human form if we were meant to just sit in bliss? We came here to experience, to express, and to create. And I said, ‘you understand this as well as I do Baba, there is an infinite law.'

It's a natural law that is always working. In the east they call it karma. We call it cause and effect. We call it the law of reciprocity. We call it the law of giving and receiving. We call it the law of mirror. In other words, a thought put out at a vibration will resonate within and there will be an experience that matches to that thought. So that our lives reflect back to us, mirror back to us, the sum total of all the thoughts we ever had, that forms a vibration which would be the sound of a specific type of gong. That gong attracts this experience back to us. Making sense?

So the key thing is that if we want to change our experience we have to change our vibration. And that's where we do things of prayer, we do things of visualization, we do forgiveness work, we do gratitude work, we do affirmations, or chanting. One of the reasons I'm not a big fan of chanting in a foreign language, I don't know what the hell it means. Well if I don't know what the hell it means. Excuse me for saying hell. But again if you come to Agape you'll know how earthy I am. If you don't know what it means, what are you putting into your unconscious mind. Because it's your unconscious mind that stores almost everything you've thought. It's all there. And that's the predominant of your vibration. What's in your unconscious mind. Well I want to know what's in my unconscious mind. I want to consciously know what I'm putting into it.

If you understand these words and you're saying them, it's beautiful. It's absolutely beautiful. But if you don't understand them, at least learn what they mean so you know what you're putting in your mind.

So I'll give you an example, one of the practices that I learned when I was in India. This last year I went for a silent meditation retreat and ended up getting caught in the worst natural disaster in the history of that country and so while we were stranded waiting to be helicoptered, which never did happen, because my Kriya Yoga brothers and sisters were waiting because the guru said to wait. And they said ‘the helicopters will come.'

And finally when they were announcing ‘the monsoon is coming, it's going to start in a day and a half.' I looked at my friend Nurant and said ‘there's no helicopters coming, there's no place for the helicopters to land. If they land on the bank of the river there, they'll sink and they'll never get out.' Divine wisdom came to me in meditation and said ‘get out of dodge.' And I listened to that and I was told by the woman who was the leader of this group, ‘no, the guru said to stay still.' I said, ‘that's beautiful, the guru in me said ‘move'.

You see there's no guru outside of you that knows anymore than the guru in you.

And you see that guru in me said grab my friend Nurant and grab a villager, go and find a path to the Himalayas to get to the helipad that we could see several miles away because there's helicopters going up and down. And so we went and found that path and we came back and the next day we took all 40 of us out. The day we got there the rain started. We could've been stuck there for months, six-thousand people died in this flood, one-hundred-thousand people had to be helicoptered out.

But you see, you listen to your own inner wisdom. That's where meditation is. And it was beautiful because while there we came out of silence when we knew we were in a natural disaster. But because we were there we kept up our meditation. So in the process of meditating that puts you in a state of peace so you could be up. I was literally outside myself, watching myself in this state. But when I wasn't in meditating, I had my mala beads and I was doing affirmation after affirmation. I was doing thousands of affirmations a day. Why, I wanted to shift the consciousness of my mental mind. I wanted to know that I was going to leave in peace and know that nothing was going to happen to me and to each person here. And that it was the divine within us that was guiding us out.

That was in June. I'm still doing my mala beads because they so resonate with me. On the way here, I did twelve affirmations one-hundred-and-eight times. When I was going to Agape this morning I did twelve affirmations one-hundred-and-eight times. Right there I've done about twenty-six-hundred affirmations. I find that I can do them while I'm driving, I can do them all the time. I want to be in charge of what goes in my mind. Because the second I stop, think about it, everywhere you go people are talking. I'm putting stuff out there right now. You have a choice. You either accept it or you don't accept it. I would invite you not to accept it. I would invite you to deeply question everything I'm saying. And find out if it's something you want to test. And find out if it's right for you because I never believe anybody. I don't care who they are or what their title is, I'm going to test it and find out. But make sure when you do test it, you give it enough time.

These conversations are conversations that ChiSing and I have all the time. We talk about this because if we're not directing this natural law, we are subject to an average experience. What does that mean? It means that thirty-three percent of the population are going to die of a heart condition, twenty-seven or twenty-eight percent of the people are going to get cancer, so many percent of the people are going to have diabetes, a certain percent of the people are going to make this much money, this much money, this much money. A certain percent of the people are going to get divorced and not have great relationships. All of these things are what, they're averages aren't they? See if we're not setting for ourselves individually an idea that becomes the predominant vibration of what we're putting out there, we're opening ourselves up to say ‘hey do me, I want the average experience.'

I'll tell you what, I don't. I want the Lee experience and I want it to be the experience I'm unfolding. And the key thing about this is that your desire to be, to express as yourself is going to be eternally changing. It's never going to remain the same.

And the people that come into your lives are going to be eternally changing. That's not bad or not good. It just is. Because as I shifted, and I shift as minister at Agape, my community shifts on me. Some people leave. Not good or bad. Can you hear, it's not good or bad, there's no judgement in that. It's just that the way I've decided to be as a minister now is I'm about positive practical spirituality. I am about building habits that serve the conscious creation and personal transformation. So one of my biggest habits is to meditate. Then I have these other habits that I use to direct this natural law that is all around. And that's what I want to see people grasp and understand and test it for themselves.

What is prayer? When I pray I don't beseech, I don't ask, I declare. I command the power of the law because I am that which is the word of God expressing. You're the word of God expressing. Every word that you speak is your prayer. See all prayer is, is anything you do directing the law in a direction. The law being that aspect of the infinite that creates. You go to Jesus, Jesus says and it is done in to you as you believe. Buddha said words similar to that.

So what is a belief? A belief is a habit of thought. If you look at what we believe is true, there is only one truth. Only one truth, everything else we make up. And the truth is there is one, one infinite power and presence radiating in and through and as all things it has always been and always will be constantly creating and recreating out of itself and this and every moment. And there is nothing other than it. So when Buddha said, ‘to live in non-attachment', can you feel how that feels now? To live in non-judgment. If you're judging anything that means you're seeing something as separate from God. And to see something separate from God means you see yourself as separate from God. Because in this allness of the infinite power and beingness, it does not see separation. It can not because for it to see separation would mean that there was something other than it. It can't be. If there were two infinites, it's impossible, it would destroy itself.

I'm so grateful to have been here, thank you so much for allowing me to share.

Transcribed by Christie LePage

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