So I would like to just share with you that I just came back from a week retreat near Austin at the Optimum Health Institute. I will share a little bit more about that later, but I really highly recommend it, especially if anyone is going through any health challenges. I would say out of the 20 different kinds of retreats I have gone to in my life, I would put it up there in the top 5 category. I highly recommend it. It is very holistic. It is body, mind, and spirit. It is wonderful when something is holistic. A little bit more about that later.

Tonight, I just wanted to share with you that in Buddhism, we have what is called the 3 turnings of the wheel of Buddha-dharma. Buddha means enlightenment, and dharma means the truth or the teachings of that truth or the practice of that truth. And so, when we talk about the wheel, in Sanskrit there is a word called chakra, which means wheel—so you can imagine that when the Buddha came and taught these noble truths to help us transform our suffering and to truly attain real happiness, it is as if he started this wheel rolling, this movement, this spiritual movement in the world, and we are still definitely feeling it today. In fact, it is still growing. More and more people are being influenced by what the Buddha, Shakyamuni Buddha, 2,600 years ago started.

So, in this first turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, this person named Siddhartha Gautama, the Shakyamuni Buddha, taught the way of wisdom and compassion, taught the way of liberation from suffering, taught the way of true happiness and enlightenment.

After a few hundred years, another movement began to grow in Buddhism around the first century. We call this the Mahayana movement of Buddhism. In the second turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, the evolution and development and the growth and expansion of this wonderful Buddha-dharma, the Mahayana emphasized the ideal of the bodhisattva, the being who is on the path of enlightenment not only for their own sake, but really for the sake of all beings.

And in the first turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, perhaps emphasis was more on liberation from suffering, but in the second turning of the wheel, the emphasis is not necessarily just on the liberation of one's own suffering. In fact, to be a bodhisattva may even require that you go through some challenges and hardships and suffering for the sake of other beings. So in the second turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, there is this non-fear of suffering, that even if we have to suffer a little bit to help other beings, we are going to do it.

And then, a few hundred years later, there was a third turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma in history. And in this turning of the wheel, it is characterized by a maturing and deepening intensification of practice on the path that incorporates our whole life, a very holistic approach.

Now, what is interesting is that in one tradition called Vajrayana, they believe that they are the fullness of that third turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, and we know them as Tibetan Buddhism primarily. There are other forms of Vajrayana in other countries, but Tibetan Buddhism is the one we primarily know about. But, the truth is they are not the only expression of that third turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma. In fact, in China, the full flowering of the Zen tradition in its fullness taught that the deepest form of true Zen insight was the third turning of the wheel.

But also, the Pure Land Buddhists believe that they were the third turning of the wheel because their practice was able to take the spirit of the Buddha's teachings and the Mahayana and make it truly accessible to many beings. And in Japan, another movement believed that they were the third turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, Nichiren Buddhism, where they practice focusing on the Lotus Sutra and chant Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo, Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo, Nam Myo Ho Ren Ge Kyo. Tina Turner and others are wonderful modern examples of people who have benefited from that particular form of practice. They also believe they are the third turning of the wheel. But see, the reality is all of them are expressions of the third turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma because they are taking particular practices and intensifying it and deepening it and maturing it.

And today, I believe not only are there 3 turnings of the wheel of the Buddha-dharma, but there is a fourth turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, and we, oh my gosh, are part of it. It is happening right now. I believe that this century is experiencing that fourth turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, and I believe that people such as Thich Nhat Hanh are expressions of the fourth turning, where we are coming to a sense of not just our small little lineage of Buddhism, but realizing that we are part of a great movement. The whole garden of Buddhism is important.

That's why I love Thay, Thich Nhat Hanh, because he is part of this movement called Unified Buddhism. You know, in Vietnam, they had separate schools of Buddhism, which is typical in most Buddhist countries, but a century ago, they had this movement take place where they all decided to be more ecumenical, more cooperative, more interfaith. So the Zen school, the Pure Land school, the Theravada school, they all decided to cooperate with each other and be a unified Buddhist tradition. That does not mean that the Zen school had to get rid of their Zen lineage or the Pure Land school had to get rid of their Pure Land practice or the Theravada school had to reject their heritage. No. Every school could still honor their lineage and tradition and practice, but in a cooperative spirit with the other traditions of Buddhism.

I believe that is one example of the 4th turning of the wheel, but another example is that now more than ever before we are seeing inclusivity of our Buddhist practice. Men and women are equal. And we are seeing more and more of an honoring and respecting of women in the Buddhist traditions, especially as practiced in modern times.

Now, going back to Thich Nhat Hanh again, I am so moved by this photograph I saw of him in Vietnam when he was finally allowed to return after several years of exile. And this photograph is of these monks and nuns standing next to each other in lines walking, and then all these laypeople behind them. This photograph was of an event where he was leading a walking meditation procession, and traditionally in Vietnam, even up to that point, the monks would be the first in line. Then the nuns had to be behind the monks, and then the laypeople. And Thay said, "If you want me to lead this ritual procession, you have to have the nuns walking side-by-side as equals as the monks."

Female: Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. (Laughter and applause)

ChiSing: It is so beautiful.

Female: Sorry to interrupt. Why were women not seen the same?

ChiSing: Because it was a cultural thing, not a religious thing. Because in almost every culture on the planet for whatever reason, women were usually subjugated in some way. But, you see Jesus and Buddha, for example, they were trying to go against that kind of cultural attitude. Look at Jesus. He had women disciples sitting with the men, and the Buddha also, he included not only males into the monastic community, but females. Now there is a little bit of-–it was a little bit controversial for everyone, but the Buddha still did it. So it was so beautiful to see that we are fully flowering into the equality and inclusivity of our spirituality today. And also, almost every modern form of Buddhist practice now is accepting of gay and lesbian people as well. So we are seeing that we are breaking down these barriers of prejudice.

And I believe that in this fourth turning of the wheel, we should still be rooted in tradition and lineage and practice and have a teacher and be disciples of deep, pure practice, but with this interfaith, inter-traditional attitude of cooperation and learning from one another. Now more than ever we have the opportunity to learn so much than we ever had been able to before. We now have Google. Thank Buddha for Google. How many of you found the Center because of Google? Yeah. See?

So, because of our amazing intercommunication abilities now, we can learn instantly about different practices of Buddhism, and different wonderful traditions of Buddhism we can learn from. But of course that does not mean that we abandon our particular lineage because you need to have some sort of grounding and depth. Because if you just go only take the surface of this, the surface of that, the surface of that, you never actually go deep enough to dig into the well to the water where the nourishment is. So it is important to really have a deep practice and at the same time be open-minded and learn and grow.

You know, one really good example of this is last year, Zen teacher Norman Fisher from California, wrote a book on Lojong practice, which is a Tibetan Buddhist practice. But he was so impressed with the depth of the teachings in the Tibetan practice of Lojong that he decided to write a book on the Lojong practices of Tibet from a Zen point of view. See? That is a wonderful example of what I am talking about in this fourth turning of the wheel. But does that mean that he is becoming a Tibetan Buddhist? No. He is still rooted deeply in the Zen tradition, but he knows how to shed light and appreciate another tradition.

So that is a wonderful example. Another characteristic of this fourth turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma is that it is not just about being spiritual on a mountaintop and just practicing and meditating away from the people. This is why Thich Nhat Hanh came up with the term "engaged Buddhism" and now also "applied Buddhism." Buddhism and the spirituality of any tradition, if it is going to be effective in the world today, it needs to remember that its whole purpose is not just to bliss out into enlightenment, but to be true bodhisattvas and really be with the people where they are at, to address issues of social injustice, to address issues of poverty, to address issues of prejudice, to address issues of global importance. This is very, very important, not just to practice just in the spiritual realm and the theological schools, but to really make it real and effective in people's real lives, to really change socially and 'societally' and not just individually.

Spirituality is not just about individual spiritual practice. It is about collective transformation, global transformation. So this is what I believe is the fourth turning of the wheel of Buddha-dharma, and we are part of it. We are a part of it. These are exciting times. Do not let the news fool you with all the bad news that is going on. Yeah, there are crazy things going on also, but let me tell you, think about it. Just 100 years ago, how many dharma centers were there in this country? Huh? How many yoga centers? How many meditation centers were there in this country? And yet today in 2014, every single major city in this country has at least one yoga center, at least one meditation center, at least one dharma center. Isn't that amazing? Hallelujah. Amen, sister. Oh goodness.

Female: Is that the big announcement?

ChiSing: No. So, I want to share personally also in my life I have experienced 3 turnings of the wheel of Buddha-dharma. The fourth one I have not experienced yet. It is probably some other time. I don't know when. But I have experienced 3 turnings of the wheel. The first one was when I encountered Thich Nhat Hanh, that beautiful, beautiful spiritual teacher and monk who touched my life so much. I don't know what I would do without him. I am so grateful that there are spiritual teachers that are available to show us the way. He showed me the way. He taught me how to do walking meditation and sitting meditation and eating meditation. He taught me so much.

And not only him, but his whole community of dharma teachers and monks and nuns and laypeople and the beautiful monasteries they have created and the practice centers. You know, when I left all of those centers and came to Texas, I was so lonely in Dallas, but thank Buddha there was a sangha in Austin that nourished me and helped me feel a little bit more at home in Texas until we started the sanghas here in the Dallas area as well.

And then a few years later in my practice, I began to feel this inner drawing to Amitabha and the Pure Land practices, not necessarily in the extremist version, where they just believe that all you have to do is chant Amitabha and you will be enlightened or whatever. I do not believe in that extremist, exclusive kind of understanding. The way I understand it is the Zen way of understanding Pure Land practice, which is Amitabha is our true nature, and the Pure Land is the sangha, here and now. Here is the Pure Land. The Pure Land is here. That is my understanding. It is a Zen understanding of Pure Land practice. But what Pure Land practice means to me is that as I am chanting silently or out loud, the vibration of infinite light, infinite love, and infinite life, it is a reminder to me that really, this practice is all about thank you. It is gratitude practice.

As we're sitting here, with every breath, with every mantra, with every step, it means thank you. Thank you for this breath. Thank you for this opportunity to sit for myself and for others. Thank you for my ability to walk with every step and to breathe and to eat and to wash the dishes and to hug and to listen to others and to speak mindfully. Thank you. Thank you, universe. Thank you life. Thank you, thank you, thank you. That is really what Amitabha and the Pure Land practice is about. It means thank you. That is all.

So, I am so grateful for the practice, because it really opened my heart and really helped me to be grateful more and more every day that I am not doing this alone, that I have so much support from our enlightened brothers and sisters, from teachers, from nature, from my own heartbeat and organs, and everything is working together to make this life and this practice possible. So that is what it means. Just thank you.

And then last year or so, I began to feel this pull from the Medicine Buddha, Bhaisajyaguru Buddha, the Buddha of healing. I woke up one morning with Medicine Buddha in my mind, and I did not even know much about Medicine Buddha at that time a year or so ago. But Medicine Buddha kept coming into my mind as I woke up, and so I began to do some computer searching, Googling, about Medicine Buddha and learned that there is a mantra and Dharani. There is a little short version and the long version, and his color is blue light for healing, and yet he has all these wonderful qualities. He made 12 vows to help other beings to make sure that people get clothed and sheltered and fed and that they are cared for if they are sick. It is just beautiful, beautiful practice.

And so, I believe that at that time I was being called to be more aware of the practices of healing and wholeness and health and wellbeing. So I began just to learn the chant and then to practice that chant, and maybe tonight we can close with that chant. And then after that, suddenly all these weird things started to happen in my health about a year ago or so. And I know David tried to help me with homeopathy, which I am very grateful for, because it did help me on some emotional and mental levels. But I began to have bloody mucus coming out of my nose constantly, and I began to have all kinds of weird sicknesses. Every month, something would go wrong, like throwing up or vomiting or diarrhea or whatever, and then chronic fatigue. I could only just do a few things in the morning, and then I had to take a nap in the afternoon if I were to do something in the evening. Very, very tired, but I didn't really know what was going on.

So finally, in October it was so bad, I started losing my hearing in my left ear, and so that was like, okay, I'd better go see the doctor. I'm a little stubborn sometimes. And they tried to do blood tests, and they found that most things were normal, but there were a couple of things that were kind of weird. They suggested I go to a specialist, an ear, nose, throat doctor. So I did, and he examined me, and I got a CAT scan, and then I got a second opinion and a biopsy, and well, basically I have cancer.

I was kind of shocked. I thought, okay, I am just having sinus problems. I have a nose/throat cancer. The formal name of it is nasopharyngeal carcinoma, and right now it is growing near my left ear, which is why it blocks my hearing. So that is sort of the big announcement I wanted to make, but not really. That's just part of it. So I just want to let you know what I am going through so that you can help me and support me in this process. I am making 2014 my year of healing, but it is a little scary.

And there have been days when I cried, but that is why I was so happy that I went to this weeklong retreat at the Optimum Health Institute near Austin, because I feel so good now. It actually boosted my immune system, and I cleared so much stuff out of my ear that I am actually able to hear a lot better than before, and I am not having as much drainage from my sinuses anymore. And then yesterday on the last day of this retreat at the Optimum Health Institute, I felt a tingling in the roof of my mouth. I have been numb at the roof of my mouth, probably because the tumor is pressing on a nerve, so I could not feel the roof of my mouth, and I'd felt the tingling yesterday, and I started to feel three-quarters of the roof of my mouth now.

So I know something is happening, and I know healing is possible, and so this year, I want to educate myself as much as I can on healing and health and wellbeing, which is probably why the Medicine Buddha came to me over a year ago, to prepare me for this third turning of my wheel of Buddha-dharma on health and healing and wellness.

So, I have learned a lot of different things, and I want to share them with you. So I am at the point where I am trying to decide between different options for my treatment. Of course, there is the option of doing chemotherapy and radiation. Unfortunately, surgery is not an option because we cannot get to it unless I agree to have them chop my face in half, which I'm not going to do. They don't want to do that, because that is very dangerous. So it is just chemotherapy and radiation, which I am not really fond of the idea, but I'm going to do some more education and research first. I am not going to just do whatever the doctor says without doing research. I encourage you not to just do what the doctor says. Do some research and education first. Be informed, okay? Because it is your life, okay?

The other option is just to not do chemotherapy and radiation and just try to do holistic things, such as nutrition and exercise and energy healing, qigong, prayer, meditation, visualization, forgiveness and gratitude, going to healers, such as John of God in Brazil, being in healing environments like monasteries, having prayer partners, feeding the monks to make it good karma and merit. All of these wonderful things you can do for holistic health and wellbeing.

The third option is to do a combination where it is integral, integrated—integrative medicine. So I have not made a decision yet, but those are my 3 major options right now. So I probably will not just do chemo and radiation. That is not an option for me. It is either going to be only holistic or a combination of holistic along with the Western approach. So I believe if you can pray for me every day that I will make a good decision. So I am determined that I am going to heal this year because the doctor said if I don't get some form of treatment in the next few months and if I don't get it healed in the next few months, I only have a year to live.

But I am determined to heal. But I also know that it may not be karmically my time to continue and that it may be time for me to go to the next life. And I am getting to the point of accepting that. I am not quite there yet, but I am getting to that point of accepting that possibility. But I have decided—I made a vow that I am going to go through this year bodhisattvically, that I'm going to heal and—either I am going to heal and be an example of using holistic means to heal and help encourage other people who are going through similar things, to just encourage them that they do not have to be so afraid and that even if they are afraid, that they are not alone and that healing is possible.

Either that, or if I die, I am determined that everything I learned and do is not going to be a waste. As I educate and share with others, maybe they will heal even though I didn't. Maybe they will benefit from everything I learned about healing even though I didn't, and I don't believe anything I do is wasted, all the spiritual practices I do. It is not wasted because if I don't heal on a physical level, I know that it will benefit me on other levels—mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. And, I can offer the merits of my practices to all of you and to other beings and let you receive the blessing of healing if I didn't receive it on the physical level. So either way, whether I live or die, I win. Yahoo. Bodhi svaha. So, I hope that you will be there for me as I have been there for you.

Audience: Sure.

ChiSing: And I hope you will take advantage of however long I have here with you and keep going and keep practicing and keep sharing. And if I do go in a year or so, I hope you will continue just to share with others the practice of dharma and create new sanghas. I hope that I am kind of like those things that you blow—what are they called? Dandelions? Create lots of sanghas. But you know what? One of the practices at I am trying to do is gratitude practice because if you do not do that, it is going to be all fear, and that is not helpful at all.

So I am grateful. This is not a disease. This is a health opportunity. Reframe it. It is not a disease, but it is a health opportunity, an opportunity for growth and healing and wellbeing and learning and transformation. And so, one of the things I am grateful for is, well, gosh, I get to prepare. If I do end up dying, wow, what a gift. I get to get ready for it. Not everyone gets a gift. Some of you like go poof, then you are gone. You don't know what hit you. I get the gift of having time to prepare and to prepare well. And so for that, I am grateful. You see? Gratitude practice. It helps you reframe things, and it is so beautiful and wonderful that we have that kind of practice.

So, Amitabha.

Transcribed by Jessica Hitch